Relationship Review #2: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Delena is one of the hottest couple TV history has ever seen. They could set the screen on fire whenever they are together. Nina Dobrev and Ian somerhalder are such beautiful people. That's exactly why majority of the vampire diaries fans favour Delena despite all their flaws. 

Having said that, Delena is basically an abusive relationship. What they have isn’t true love, if anything it’s a really strong sexual attraction. They are the couple who resolve all their problems by sleeping together rather than communicate. The literally bring out the worst in each other. Elena lost her empathy, compassion, morality after they became a couple and Damon despite trying to be a better man kept falling back to his old ways. He has zero respect for her decisions and choices. He will always choose what he thinks is best for her rather than what she wants. His sole wish is to keep her alive for him, it doesn’t matter how she lives. Wanting to keep someone alive is not the same as loving someone.

There was a scene where Elena tries to slap Damon and he grabs her hand and lowers it, the sound of bones cracking was evident in that scene. I wouldn’t say that he should have let her hit him, I am against violence whether it the boy hits the girl or the girl hits the boy. But defending yourself and breaking other person’s bones are different. It was Damon trying to prove his physical strength to her, yeah not at all abusive!

In another scene, Damon throws Elena into a Lake because she went to rescue her boyfriend without telling Damon. Remember that place was new to both of them, he didn’t know how deep the lake was or about it currents, or if there were any deadly animals in the water. He did it because he was angry. It’s not the same as pushing your friend into a swimming pool. But what she did is to take full advantage of his obsession with her to get him to agree with her, and definitely her water-soaked body helped a lot!!

There is no denial of the fact that he would die for her, kill for her. But his redemption arc is not at all convincing. The moment things go wrong, he will go on a killing spree. If Elena upsets him, he will take it out on her family and friends. How a person who claims to be so much in love with you could ever hurt the ones you love? Even before they were officially in a relationship, whenever Elena hurt him he went on to kill Jeremy and random people on the road. Also slept with other women using his mind control abilities, so much for true love!! This behavior never changed throughout the series, as long as Elena is with him he will behave, the moment she did anything against his wishes he will lose control.

It may sound romantic on paper that she has such a deep control over him, he will do anything for her. But what it really is a unhealthy obsession/fixation on someone. 

My take on Stelena vs Delena:

I would say I am a fan of neither. When I was watching their journey I didn’t have a preference and it really helped enjoying their scenes. But when Elena was on that bridge trying to make her decision I found myself rooting for Stefan, yeah guess I had a favourite after all.

When everything is said and done, I love Stefan. But I don’t think Elena deserves him. She basically cheated on Stefan when he was off paying the price to save the life of his brother. If you have to leave your partner for a while (not because you want to, but because you have no choice) and when you come back she/he has fallen for someone else, that person is simply not worth it.

To me it was always like there was this undeniable spark and sexual tension between Damon and Elena like they want to attack each other whenever their eyes met. But with Stefan it always felt like peace and home, no matter how worse your life get, seeing him and being in his arms would take all that pain away. At the end of the day I would always want to go home!